by Jamie Kenney

TikTok

Our children are our favorite people on the planet. OK, some days they might get on our nerves, but overall we think they’re amazing and brilliant and fun. They give our life beauty and depth we never could have imagined without them. But sometimes we don’t always let them know that the way we should. (Hey, life gets in the way!)

Moreover, the things we do tell them in the absence of praise and compliments and positive affirmations, might ultimately wind up sending them the wrong message. And TikTok user @destination_moody has an important message for parents to help us reset how we might be communicating with our children.

“If you tell your child that Santa is coming to bring them gifts, they will believe you. If you tell your child to leave a tooth underneath their pillow and that a fairy will magically leave them money, they will believe you. If you tell your child that unicorns and dragons and mermaids and ghosts exist, they will believe you. So if you call them slow, or clumsy, or mean, or dumb, they will believe you. So make sure to tell them that they are brilliant and brave and capable and kind, because they will believe that, too.”

It’s such a simple message, but it’s one I think a lot of parents need to be reminded of every now and then. Kids are basically genetically engineered to listen to us… which I know might be a hard thing for someone with a willful toddler to believe sometimes, but it’s really true. (And also, listening isn’t the same as obeying.) There’s an adage I’ve heard in recent years that says “The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice.” I’m sure plenty of adults can see the truth in those words.

Look, we still have to correct and guide our children — that’s a massive part of parenting — but it’s a good practice to make sure we’re building them up with praise and positivity at least as much as we’re telling them what not to do.